David's Boring Blog

In the sixth grade I had a small circle of friends that lived in my neighborhood. We ran around together after school and on the weekends. We slept over at one another's houses. The most prominent memory I have of one of those friends happened when we went on a trip to the mountains with my parents.  It was a strange trip. The three of us were between sixth and seventh grade. A typical trip to the mountains for my family was going to Cades Cove, riding the loop, and then cooking out in the picnic area. On this trip, though I have zero recollection why, we stopped to eat at a hamburger joint in the Townsend area. We were sitting around eating burgers and fries as a group when Steve observed that I was eating my hamburger upside down.  If this concept blows your mind you fall into my line of thinking. To Steve's way of thinking there was a top and a bottom to a hamburger. I can understand that there is a top and bottom hamburger bun. The bottom one was against the dish it was bak

Almost ten years ago now I made an insecurities fueled decision that changed the path I was on. At that time I had a good career with a great company. I had some self inflicted financial struggles that were manageable. I was having a couple of health concerns. I was not as close to my  None of those problems accounted for how unhappy and dissatisfied with my life that I was.  That mostly stemmed from my insecurities and unresolved trauma that I had refused to deal with. I would continue to not deal with those things until the universe intervened in a series of events triggered by the death of my mother in 2018. I could spend this post writing about the darkest moments of my life. Looking back I can even see the things that impacted me and maneuvered me into poor choices. That is not a worthwhile activity. I believe that is called rumination and it is a toxic practice. I have spent this month learning about and practicing gratitude. I have not been the type of man to count my blessings.

 Oops. I didn't get a post up yesterday. I am not really too upset about it. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind blowing me about like a leaf in fall. I realize though that it could become a problem.  The funny part of how I broke the habit was good intentioned. They normally are. Back in the first week of the month I knew my Thursday post was going to be a challenge to complete Tuesday or Wednesday night. I didn't make it home until near the kids bedtime on Wednesday night and missed it entirely Tuesday.  I am occasionally smart. I wrote ahead. During a spurt of inspiration I cranked out a couple of excellent (in my estimation at least) posts and scheduled them out ahead of time. I didn't think about anything in this process but the end result which was putting out posts on time.  The impact of that is that I had given myself permission to break my writing routine. I figured I was dropping in a stop gap measure. Instead, I was throwing myself off. Since then, I have c

I was sitting at my computer one morning a few weeks ago feeling frustrated. It was a couple of hours before time for me to sign in to work. I was eating a bowl of raisin bran and going through a morning ritual that helped me to wake up my brain and focus. The problem was I was too awake. I had gone from my typical morning mental boot up sequence to irritated within a few minutes. I was playing Magic the Gathering Arena and I was losing. I don't get upset when losing at a video game. That morning I was not having fun. I realized that I was looking at a new set coming out around my birthday. I would pay money to pick up new digital cards, and that would have me investing in not having fun. Without any further thought on the subject, I logged out of Arena. Knowing I needed to test myself a bit, I uninstalled Arena from my computer. I sat and thought about Magic the Gathering a while. A girlfriend introduced me to the game in 1994. It tapped into things I was into at the time. I

If I can just push myself to get through this project, then, I can slow down and things will be good.  Things are not good at home, but if I can just put up with it until tax time then I will have enough money to make a change.  I can power through all this stress. Once summer comes I will have time to relax and sort everything out.  If I just get this promotion... When I buy this car...  After the baby comes... If I can find a partner...  If I just had a good friend... Doesn't life sometimes feel like a series of checkpoints you are suffering through? It is almost as if we are holding our breath from one tolerable situation to the next. Yet, those brief flashes of serenity never quite seem to last, do they? That perpetual grind through one difficulty after another seems to wear us down until there is so little of us left to even look forward to those all too abrupt blips of things just being good. It feels really wrong, doesn't it?  Life isn't supposed to be like that. You

My senior year of high school I ended up in a private school. The particulars of that series of events are of no importance to this story. What is relevant to this trip down memory, is that my high school was an alternative school. Most of the students, like me, had done something to get themselves kicked out of public school.  It was an interesting place. I don't remember having any static with anyone there. I had a few friends or at least people I was friendly with. I did not keep up with anyone. I suppose a lack of long term connections is something of a repeated pattern in my life. I suspect it is for most people. Who knows? It has been twenty five years since high school.  Other than graduating and taking a very basic art class I don't have a ton of memories of that year. I remember feeling displaced. That is an emotion I doubt I will ever get used to. It likely put me in a headspace of 'going along to get along.' I was not going to become a mindless sheep or anyth

Like most people, I have quite a few rituals I participate in. In the morning I like to stay in my bed comfy for a few minutes while browsing through the news. The algorithm is slowly catching on to the fact I rarely, if ever, click on political news. I am a pop culture, events, and sciences sort of person. Credit where credit is due my feed almost always is heavy on Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering related content.  This morning I had my Mister Glass moment when an article I have been waiting for finally surfaced in my feed. With slightly trembling hands I clicked the link. I found myself reading the article I have expected to surface for quite some time that signals the approach of the singularity.  For those of you who may not have my deeply nerdy love of science fiction speculation, the Singularity refers to the moment when humanity is able to transcend their physical limitations by creating a digital biological interface. I could spend a few thousand words explaining t

 This afternoon Teagan and I put together two Lego sets. I say we did it, but in truth she did the majority of the building with me turning the pages of the instructions and occasionally lending a little guidance or applying finger strength. By the time we reached the second set she was past her concentration bandwidth and had begun the more active play portion of the Lego experience. Well, that and she was dancing to the music shuffling on iTunes. Her enjoying the music pleased me in part because it was a song that came out when I was in middle school. There is something strongly validating about your kids finding love for the things you cherish.  For a while now I have been sold on the idea that to create healthier generations it is imperative that we become the parent that we needed when we were kids. I think the logic of that idea follows pretty close to the Golden Rule. I can see it. I always wanted my parents to be particularly proud of my ability to draw. It was a skill that I t