Breaking the Streak

 Oops. I didn't get a post up yesterday. I am not really too upset about it. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind blowing me about like a leaf in fall. I realize though that it could become a problem. 

The funny part of how I broke the habit was good intentioned. They normally are. Back in the first week of the month I knew my Thursday post was going to be a challenge to complete Tuesday or Wednesday night. I didn't make it home until near the kids bedtime on Wednesday night and missed it entirely Tuesday. 

I am occasionally smart. I wrote ahead. During a spurt of inspiration I cranked out a couple of excellent (in my estimation at least) posts and scheduled them out ahead of time. I didn't think about anything in this process but the end result which was putting out posts on time. 

The impact of that is that I had given myself permission to break my writing routine. I figured I was dropping in a stop gap measure. Instead, I was throwing myself off. Since then, I have cranked out posts on time for the past two weeks. That all seems like no damage was done. 

What you all do not see is the background work. My blog dashboard, up until the second week of this month, was all posts. I didn't have any half finished posts resting as drafts. In the past couple of weeks I have started and not finished a half dozen posts. 

I started giving myself permission to come back to a post later. This may not seem like an extreme thing. It is extreme. Sure, I can pick up the thread of my thoughts from the original post. I can very likely go back and turn all of those significant starts into posts over the coming weeks. It seems like there is no loss there, right?

Wrong! It isn't the post or the content that is the important part. Honestly, this blog is not truly important to me beyond an appreciation of the few regular readers I have. The important part is what the blog proves. For the last several months I have intentionally modified my behavior so that each Monday and Thursday a new post went up. 

To produce that I typically write something Friday or Saturday and again on Tuesday or Wednesday. That flexibility allows me to live my life and still produce desired behavioral changes. It also doesn't end up working like an item checked off my to do list. 

After a few weeks of sitting down to write during those same times on each of those four days I found that my brain wanted to be writing during those times. If I already had a post completed, great! I could sit down and write something else. That reinforces the behavior and strengthens the habit which is the goal. The blog is a happy side effect.

Continuing to meet goals o this behavioral modification exercise is important to me. I lost that with drawing. I lost my exercise routine again. I do follow my personal growth routine as well. That is only a few weeks old and is not fully formed. Writing this blog is a success metric that gives me hope for the other changes I want to make in my life. 

Here you all thought I just liked to listen to myself talk. You are right. I am also getting this other benefit as well. 

So, what now? I can sit here and beat myself up emotionally about missing the goal. There isn't a way to go back and post (well technically I could...but I will not) this a day in the past. Do I allow the past six months worth of effort to fizzle and die?

No way! This interval of "failure," is important too. Life happens and it gets in the way of your plans. I am very grateful that I missed a post. This turned into an opportunity for me to examine the importance of my habits and routines. It also showed me the value of the work I have been doing on myself. 

Instead of being discouraged I find myself inspired and determined. I also know that I have done a bit of habit stacking with my writing. When I am pecking at this keyboard there is a nagging voice telling me that this is time I could be spending with my family. There is a subtle pressure to put it away unless I happen to find myself alone at the time I am writing which happens rarely. 

My favorite thing that happens when I am working diligently on a post is Teagan coming in and asking," What are you doing?" It happens most every time unless she is absorbed in her own play. Since the concept of a journal, blog, or even internet articles are still foreign to her six-year-old thinking no explanation quite satisfies her curiosity. Thankfully, she cannot read all the words I am writing just yet. I do appreciate her interest in what I am doing though. 

Whenever I finish a post, assuming she is home, I immediately try to get some time with her. We might read a book, build a Lego set, or play some Mario Kart. It doesn't really matter what we do. I just invest an equal amount of time to the period I just spent writing to let her know she is more important. I think it also is a positive reinforcement for her patience in allowing me to focus on my work for a little while. Kids are much more likely to be patient if it is rewarded.

I feel good writing this up. I am encouraged. I also know I will likely write up my Monday post today or tomorrow depending on how crazy busy it all gets. I have a lot to think about as far as the power of habit goes. The impetus I felt to get out of bed last night and rush out a post so that I didn't miss was slightly less powerful than my need to catch up on much needed rest. 

Funny how I made it the very first thing I did this morning after my morning hygiene routine, though. There is something to rebuilding positive habits. Maybe it is even something of a self correcting process?