The Feline Tenderness Observation

 I am an animal lover. I enjoy seeing animals in nature. I enjoy the zoo. Though, I admit there is something melancholy about seeing animals kept in captivity. This might be compounded in the fact that it is done for profit. Still, I keep animals myself and have a good relationship with them. I'm not talking rhinos, tigers, snakes, or even lizards. I have cats.

Granted there are dogs around the house as well. I enjoy our dogs. They aren't mine. I haven't really connected to a pup since Katie (my black lab dalmatian mix) and Buddy (our Saint Bernard) died. I will spend time with Harper or Gracie (both wonderful mutts) if they are in with me. I enjoy their attention and I think they enjoy mine. 

That pales in comparison to the time I spend with my cats. I also spend time with the cats because there are more here that do not claim me than cats that do. Cat lovers understand this concept. Cats choose their humans. You can easily have a cat living in your house which you feed, water, and clean up after which has absolutely no use for you. This is why I appreciate cats. They are judgmental AF. 

Through a series of events we have ended up with five cats. All of them are litter box trained. All of them also safely navigate going outside and choose to come back in. Everyone is fixed because we are responsible pet owners. 

I suppose getting into those series of events is germane to the story. Living in the country, no matter how clean you are when the weather turns cold field mice get inside. That can get pretty problematic. I am not a fan of mouse poop in every out of the way nook and cranny. Nor am I a fan of how they react to increased cleanliness. The little buggers like to eat anything that remotely is tasty. Ever ate a meal while reading a book? Guess what those pages still smell and taste like. Yeah. Mice aren't my favorite animal... granted I don't hate them. I don't even like exterminating them. I enjoy rodent prevention methods.

Know what the best one is? A cat or a couple of cats. Felines can keep a family of rodents out just by the presence of their smell. Mice know better because cats can be terrifying killing machine. Honestly, if a cat was much bigger than a house cat they would intimidate me a bit. 

A few years back my Dad brought in a pair of wild kittens. We all got attached to Jesse and James pretty quickly. Taila and I named them after Team Rocket. Many times they have proven that we cannot prepare for trouble particularly when it is double. They are both great. I will return to talking about them momentarily. 

I brought in our third cat. Her name was Zeus. Momma cat had abandoned her in some bushes near the road in front of the house. I heard her crying while I worked on a car. I investigated, found her, and fell in love. She was from the same litter as Jesse and James and fit right into the household. I claimed Zeus as my cat and I like to flatter myself that she returned the sentiment, but that is probably fancy. 

My Zeus Cat

After a couple of years Zeus vanished. I have zero clue what happened to her beyond I didn't find her dead in the road or anywhere else. I suspect she jumped into the car with someone visiting and snuck out to find herself a new place to live. I don't know that, but it feels right. Some part of me wants her to be out there somewhere alive and well. I get a little sad thinking about it. When she went missing I pulled back from having an animal of my own again and was pretty happy with that choice. 

Last spring the new batch of kittens arrived from our feral cats outside. They are a small population that live around the house and in the woods. We keep them fed. They help keep the pests outside under control. I rarely manage to pet one of them because they are not really pets. I am sure from their perspective we live on their land and they tolerate us because of the food and water. 

Teagan got interested in having a kitten of her own. With Zeus gone, I knew we could manage a third cat. Taming feral kittens is an interesting process. The kitten has to somewhat cooperate with the process. If it is really determined to hate and fear you, there isn't much you can do beyond keep it captive and make it miserable. Our first attempt to tame a kitten went that way. We brought in an American Short Hair that was white with orange spots on her face and ears. She genetically has a docked tail (as does Jesse.) That cat hated being inside. 

After a couple of days and no change in her panic we let her back outside hoping that she would at least be a bit more domesticated for her inside visit. This was hopeful on my part. She still lives close in to the house and hangs out on the porch, but petting her is not an option. 

The next kitten that came in was an orange tabby with a white mask. She would bond with Ashley almost immediately. She is one of the residents. It was clear she wasn't going to take up with the rest of us though. I was done with cats thing. James came around and hung out with me from time to time and that was plenty. Princess Floof is still Ashley's cat and she only talks to me if she needs something. 

Princess Floof demands I put the controller down and fill her dish.

Then Gremlin happened. He is a handsome orange tabby cat, but he was a half-starved, flea covered mess that I was pretty sure wasn't long for this world when I found him to weak to run away from me in our front yard. His Momma cat had left him for dead. We bathed him free of fleas. I bottle fed him formula, water, and eventually some wet food. Poor little guy was all skin, bones, and big ears. He looked like a big eared Gremlin. The name stuck. I got attached. He recovered. He claims me. I enjoy this fact. He is still very attached to me. A couple of times a day I have to stop what I am doing and pay him his due of attention. 

Gremlin as a Kitten

Gremlin relaxing at Christmas

Flash back to a week or so after Gremlin was getting healthy enough to start playing with Floof and the other two cats. Dad and Teagan come inside with the sister of the American Short hair. She has a much better personality and likes people, being inside, and most of all as much food as she can get her mouth on. We name her Princess Peach. It sticks. 

Kitten Princess Peach

Peach claiming my desk and affection

Somewhere over the past year, Princess Peach has also adopted me. She often sleeps at my feet. She almost insists on being on my desk while I work or write. If I resist she pouts. She craves all the pets she can get. 

Now, back to Jesse and James. They both have big personality. James is an absolute character. He is the agitator of the group. He gets into everything he can, but makes up for it by being a sweet boy occasionally. 

Feed me!

Then there is Jesse. I know I have photos of her, but I didn't have any on my phone. The reason for that is she is the most aloof of the cats. She is a great explorer both inside and outside. She isn't mean and will tolerate the occasional petting session if I insist on it. What is much more rare is her wanting affection. That is what really got me thinking about this post. 

Jesse being Jesse 

Jesse actually came into my office and meowed at me until I picked her up and loved on her. I wasn't sure that was really what she wanted. I need to change the litter. She accepted the attention though. In fact, she relaxed and gave me the rear treat of her purr. It is funny how much I appreciated that rare treat. Maybe there is an important lesson there. 

It would be really easy to take Peach's affections for granted. I probably pet her an hour or more every day. I love that time. Her purrs are special too, but they are readily available so they don't feel like any sort of special treat. 

Gremlin was that way as a kitten. As he has grown, he is less interested in constant human attention. Instead he wants to play, hunt, but when he wants attention I had better be ready to drop what I am doing and provide scritches until he is satisfied. 

Floof has little use for me except when she wants the litter changed or the bowl filled. She also communicates well about wanting inside or outsides multiple times per day. She awards my little efforts with a few seconds of rubbing against my leg or might tolerate a few quick pets. 

Now, I prefer Gremlin and Peach to the rest of the crew. They are my cats in their fashion. I am attached and I never miss a chance to love on either of them. Zeus was no where near as friendly as either of them and my attachment to her remains even with her gone. 

 What does this tell us about people and relationships? Is the person who makes themselves readily available all the time less valuable than the person who makes themself scarce? It would seem that there might be some correlation to the law of supply and demand. The less of you that is available to others the more they are likely to value your presence when they get it. 

I think about my kids in that fashion. I am here every minute of most every day for Teagan. She appreciates me which is rare and a credit to what a sweet child she is. If I have to be out of the house or away for a while the complaints of ," I miss Daddy," start. When I return I get the biggest hugs and the most attention she ever pays me. 

I think what I took away from this observation is that if I find a person taking me for granted then it is likely I can conclude that I have made myself too available to them. I can adjust my availability and see if the situation changes. If it doesn't then it is probably time to examine my involvement. 

On the flip side of the coin, it is foolish and sinful to take someone for granted who shows you routine daily loyalty and affection. Their dedication is worthy of your own care for them. Only a moron will chase the fleeting attentions of the aloof at the cost of the tried and true. I can tell you that if Zeus showed up tomorrow I would be thrilled, but I wouldn't give up any of our cats to give her a place here. 

Lastly, if you set back and watch you can really tell who appreciates you. Of the five cats there isn't one that is mean to me. We may relate to each other on different terms, but I feed and clean up after them all with the same care. I know where I stand with each cat. I am fairly certain Peach loves me almost as much as food. Gremlin wants me immediately and with full attention a few times a day. The rest come to me when they feel it. All of that has value and I know what to expect. 

If you pay attention, people are just as obvious. I may noodle some more on this.