Expanding like Water

 I had an interesting revelation after reorganizing my office over the last few days. My struggle against clutter is completely the fault of my wrong way of thinking. I have always pursued things that interested and entertained me. I try and make those things fit into my life and home. That has been going about things backward. Yes, I am just realizing this. 

Here is what woke me up. As I said, I have been reorganizing my office. I started that process because it was starting to feel messy, cluttered, and crowded. I will get stressed in a displeasing space. It stifles my creativity. It distracts me. It can even annoy me and make me irritable. You know that feeling. I think we have all had it at some point in time. 

I rarely know when the space I am in is stifling me. Normally it is behaviors that I would not relate to the space itself that tip me off. Lately, I have been taking all of my breaks from work outside. I love autumn and the cooling weather. I don't dislike winter, but that is another subject entirely. Finding myself out on the porch or in the yard and hour a day could just be a desire for fresh air. 

The key that it was something more caught my attention when I found myself avoiding finishing Final Fantasy IX in favor of taking out the trash and cleaning the cat litter boxes. I might savor the journey of a Final Fantasy game, or any RPG really, but when I am already tired and looking for a way to kill time it is not like me to choose chores over pushing buttons on a controller. That is doubly true while I have a new toy as cool as my Steam Deck. 

I was enjoying a shiny fall day. I also was itching for the final confrontation with Kuja. I had not finished IX since the first time I finished it in late 2000. I was shocked at how much I remembered of the game. I also knew I was coming to the end. Typically, I will avoid optional stuff to try and finish a game in that third arc. To me that is where many games get really good. 

I had danced around finishing IX because one of my two typical gaming spots had become uncomfortable. I knew as soon as I realized this that I had to change my office around. Naturally, I spent several days studying on the idea. It was going to be a hell of a lot of work. I would end up, at minimum, moving a bookshelf full of RPG books, likely moving a table, and quite a bit besides. My plan was to declutter and not end up with wall to wall furniture in an already small space. 

After the birthday stuff finished up for the weekend I dove into the project.  First thing that I knew had to go were all of the boxes of comic books. It hurts me a bit to have them languish in storage. Ideally, I would rather sell them than store them. I am just not feeling that work at the moment. I have no desire to be a collector anymore. I just really enjoy reading the stories and looking at and occasionally imitating the art. Eighteen boxes are a lot of comics to move. 

With the comics out of the way, I knew I needed to lighten my load of furniture. Like the title says, I have a tendency to expand into whatever space is available to me and a bit beyond that. I am certain if I wont the lottery tomorrow and bought myself a warehouse that I would go broke filling it with stuff that I find interesting. A huge part of that would be shelves and storage containers to organize it all. 

I decided I needed my rolling storage cabinet in my office more than I needed my six foot work bench. The downside of that decision is the cabinet is on a really nice set of casters and the work bench is not. It is only mildly heavy though. It went out into my storage container and my comic boxes are resting safely right on top. It pains me to admit how much of a waste both of those facts are. 

I got a big part of the reorg right. I cleaned. I dusted. I swept underneath everything. I wiped down shelves and books as I moved them. My shelf full of RPG books is no joke. It is over seven feet tall. It is built from real wood. I have is packed full of books. This pleases me to no end though I wish I were using them for more than just prideful display. 

I took care in the move to keep the books roughly in order. I need to go back through and set them up correctly, but m goal over the weekend was to have my office functional before work started on Monday. It wasn't time to play with Dewey's decimals metaphorical speaking. 

That done I hung a few pictures back on the walls. I emptied my storage cabinet of all the detritus that tends to build up. I tossed a ton of stuff. Other things got packed away. It is hard for me to part with good cords. I have had too many experiences where I have needed one after throwing it out. Yes, that too is a problem. Didn't I want to move toward minimalism once upon a time?

Next came a little bit of set up. I separated the entertainment portion of my office from my workspace. I love being able to play a game like Cuphead or Castle Crashers if the weather is bad and I need a break at work. I also like having a clearly defined area for productivity and play. Don't get me wrong. When the work day as done the same desk may find me building Legos, playing video games, drawing, or writing blog posts. The point is I have established function by distancing a few elements with clever use of shelving and moving my TV mount to the other side of the window. 

I finished up the project and felt the accompanying sense of satisfaction. The new set up is on the path to better. It isn't quite best. There are still things I know I need to remove. I also was a bit frustrated that in spite of having a fabulous bookshelf  dedicated to my table top RPGs not everything fits. A goodly section haunts the shelves above my desk mingling in with my graphic novels and trade paperbacks. 

Late Monday afternoon I had another break through in my thinking. This is before the thought that triggered this thought, but I like to think they are related. My bookshelf has a pair of fixed shelves that are shorter on the bottom. They are spaced about a foot apart as compared to the other three shelves which are 16 inches or more. Yes, the bookcase has varied height, but only two shelves are adjustable. I have never seen this as a flaw. Instead, I use those bottom shelves for supplies. Or rather I did until today. 

Like a dog seeing the colors of a rainbow for the first time, my world turned on its side when my brain finally realized a simple thing. I have tons of D&D boxed sets. Fifth edition has released several. I also am in love with Epic Encounters. I have been storing these boxed sets vertically where they stack nicely next to the RPG books. I realized I could move them all together to the bottom shelves just by flipping them ninety degrees. This opened up so much space! Also, my shelves look much more uniform and neat. 

I made the move. I pulled down the RPG books from the comic shelf they were on. I briefly organized though not enough to call the shelf "in order." Again I found myself satisfied.. and maybe a little smug. 

This evening I had an important realization. I have far too much stuff. I spend a huge amount of time, money, and energy in a cycle. It works like this. I get interested in some focus. Let's say shooting for this example. Though I am a bear of very little brain, I apply what I have to the interest of shooting. Let's learn to shoot at longer distances using a scope says my brain. What will I need for that?

A list is made. An activity is pursed. Supporting merchandise is purchased. Next thing you know I am figuring out where I am going to store another rifle along with a new cleaning kit, fresh gun cleaning chemicals, a rifle rest, targets, and ample ammo. These are good problems to have, but I have now added this to a home full to bursting with video games, movies, Legos, comic books, board games, card games, roleplaying games, guns, knives, bows, crossbows, and my kid has a few toys too. 

The reason for that is that I have been thinking of things backward. I think of an interest and ask myself," How can I make this happen?" This is very much the wrong question. If I asked myself," Where does this fit into my house, my schedule, and my attention span." I would be on a better path. I think that may be the trick of it. 

If I limited myself on hobbies and activities that I have the space for based on the above criteria I can promise you I wouldn't have clutter. I might have a heck of a lot more money in the bank as well. How many guns or knives could I possibly need at one time? God help me, I already have arguments in my head to start answering that. 

My interests make my home inventory expand like water to fill all of the available space. Now, I find myself trying to get more and more clever with the space I have to feel comfortable. I think I am going to start working backward from here. I am going to downsize until I get about 20% more space than I really feel that I need. Anything that doesn't fit into it will just have to go. 

Then, when I think of pursuing another hobby or interest I will work out the logistics of it all before bringing anything home. This may sound really basic to everyone else. For me, this is life changing, revolutionary stuff. Anyone got a time machine so I can go back and improve the lives of myself and my kids starting out in the early 1980s? No? Well, I don't guess that will matter. I wasn't ready to understand this until now anyway.