An Aid to Focus

I do not like the feeling of being dependent on or addicted to anything. I had the worst time kicking drinking soft drinks (soda, pop, dope, coke, or whatever you call them.) I picked them up as a kid because I grew up in the 80s and we apparently didn't know better. That isn't true at all. My grandparents (and probably my parents too) warned me that they would destroy my teeth. They did and I was really foolish not to listen. 

I was 34 years old when I started trying to ditch Cokes. I still have dreams about them. Those theaters that show the trailer full of pouring soda and popping popcorn kernels will set me drooling. I miss a cold sweet drink. I also know that if I ever give in and have even one sip of soda that I will fall right off the wagon and go back to drinking them. I will also likely gain back sixty pounds which was what I lost when I stopped drinking them. 

The same year I stopped drinking soda I also stopped eating bread and sugar based deserts. I described that as stopping sugar. In any conversation that popped up I had to explain that I mean that I don't eat candy bars, snack cakes, birthday cake, ice cream or sugary snacks. If my Orange Chicken from Panda Express contained sugar (it does) I wasn't counting that as eating sugar. I did well with that until 2019. One magical brownie knocked me right off the wagon. I haven't been able to kick bread or sugary snacks since and it has not been good for me. 

I think of 2020 as the year of the Krispy Kreme doughnut because I ate a few most every week. Little Debbie made a record profit that year too. I had missed Swiss Rolls...and Star Crunch... and Cosmic Brownies. I have such a problem though it is better than it was. I curb that addiction without fully ending it. 

I keep tight control on what I believe I might be getting addicted to. Some things I am copacetic with such as my D&D or comic book buying habit. Video games are likewise fine with me. I play at least an hour every day and that is just fine. My big butt might benefit to an addiction to exercise.

What I cannot abide anymore is social media. I am done with scrolling mindlessly. I ripped it all off my phone. No more Twitter. No more Instagram. No more Facebook. Know how I knew I had a problem? One day I pulled out a post it note and counted the number of times I opened my phone without any type of notification. In an 8 hour period it was 137 times.

Think about that. I knew I was running the experiment which undoubtedly changed the result. Still, the habit is so prevalent to me that I popped up my phone an average of 17 times per hour. 

I removed all the social media and did a second count. I still picked the phone up and idly started to scroll for apps 19 times the day after it was gone over the same 8 hours. That is still twice an hour knowing things aren't there to look at. That to me is proof positive of a behavior that needed changed. I have been debating getting rid of a smart phone for a while. I don't think I am there quite yet, but it was time to break the cycle. 

I spent the next several days with a general sense of dissatisfaction and boredom. I reveled in those feelings because they are signs that I was breaking the scrolling addiction. I mean it wasn't the headaches I got for almost two months after I kicked soda. Still... breaking the habit is profound. 

I also know myself. I will replace one habit with another. For cokes I started drinking a bottle of water each time I craved a soda. I rarely have had to worry about dehydration. With getting rid of my scrolling habit I am working on adding some meaningful things like writing or reading. If I made myself write one of these posts each time I pointlessly opened my phone then I would be weeks ahead on my blogging. 

The reality is I still have social media accounts. I will share this to Facebook and Twitter as soon as it is written (because I normally post the night before posts are due and this week I am running late). Social Media isn't the addiction. Mindless scrolling through inane content is. I try so hard to be intentional about so much. I felt like a goon just watching reel after reel that I had almost no interest in. 

I like finding little things that improve my life. I think the next one may be saving up to buy myself another fun vehicle. More on that another time. It is one of those things that my mind has been freed up to chew over.