Behavioral Modifications: Week 4

 I lost nine pounds this week. Likely I did not. I lost some weight, but the difference in wearing my slip on shoes, cutting off my shaggy hair, and shaving my beard had some impact on the scale. Though giving myself credit for losing four and a half pounds is still pretty fantastic. 

Having bought a scale last week I realized I had let myself go even further than I had believed. I am proud of myself for the way I handled this revelation. I didn't sink into a funk or get angry. I pulled myself together and realized that I have given myself some work to do. I bought myself a new ring. 

I have been wearing a warrior's ring around my wrist. It features raven's heads at the end of the ornate twists. I think of these as symbolic of Odin's ravens Hugin and Munin. 

Two ravens sit on his (Odin’s) shoulders and whisper all the news which they see and hear into his ear; they are called Huginn and Muninn. He sends them out in the morning to fly around the whole world, and by breakfast they are back again. Thus, he finds out many new things and this is why he is called ‘raven-god’  -Snorri Sturluson from his Prose Edda

My thought on this was that Odin knew the importance of knowing things. His raven spies kept him informed and this allowed him to act from an intelligent and informed position. The bracelet reminds me to stop and think before taking action or making comment. I need that reminder. 

I added to this a ring on my right hand featuring Thor's hammer. For the Norse this symbol was for bravery, power, strength, as well as luck, and protection in battle. If you read any of the Prose Edda or Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series you will find out that Thor is a capricious dick. That may or may not make his hammer an appropriate symbol for me as well. For me I am focusing on the aspects of strength which I am building and luck. So much of life relies on luck. Mine has always been pretty good and I am thankful for it. 

I have been wearing those symbols for quite a while. I have never managed to be much of a jewelry guy, but I have wanted to be. Meaningful symbols feel more appropriate to me than rings featuring comic book or video game characters. Not that I don't like my Flash, Green Lantern, or Legend of Zelda rings. I sometimes just feel immature and foolish wearing them. Well, except Flash. I would make a funny speedster. Irony can be motivation. 

When I weighed in I was a bit shook. I realized that spending so long indulging in bad habits while sitting here at home has taken a toll on me. Reversing course is going to be a concentrated effort. I need to do more, and if I am honest what I am doing now is pretty uncomfortable. I reached for some determination. I also have a good knowledge of runes, symbols, and talismans. I decided the situation called for Vegvisir. 

Vegvisir is a icelandic stave. That would be a magical rune with a set purpose. In this case, Vegvisir is meant to prevent a traveler from becoming lost in a storm. It is essentially a magical compass warding the wearer to keep on a true course in spite of stormy seas. What a beautiful metaphor for the world and times we live in. Finding my way can be a challenge on a bright, sunny day. It can become impossible in metaphorical storms when the rain is pouring, the lightning crashing, and the thunder rolling. 

Woah, about went into a Live song there or was it Garth Brooks? Ah, well. I went with Live in my iTunes Library. Throwing Copper was one of the greatest albums of my teen years which was filled with some amazing music. 1994 how magical!?

Anyway, I added a stainless steel ring with Vegvisir to my left middle finger. It reminds me that I can find my way. Together the jewelry says that with a little luck, a little strength, and a bit of information I can get where I want to be even through the worst storms. Pretty cool, huh?

I have spent most of the last week well focused. I have been quite a bit less interested in writing and drawing and a lot more interested in exercise. That led me to some personal bests on the exercise fronts. 

I burned 9,038 calories. I exercised twice a day. Each session in the count was on the exercise bike which I have moved to using twice daily. I spent a total of seven hours, two minutes, and thirty-six seconds active. I rode a total of 101 miles. 

My personal best happened Thursday when I put in 15.2 miles in an hour at the same resistance level I have been using. Friday I managed 15 flat again. Yesterday, sore and tired I was back down to 14.3. Still, averaging even 14 miles an hour is a solid pace. I am pushing myself. I get sweaty and winded during each session. More importantly, I don't want to stop. I want to ride further, faster. The exercise bike is a pleasant way to burn calories. 

I did not play Castle Crashers much this week. I finished getting all of the Knights through the game and earning them their skull badges. Over the past months I have played a ton of Castle Crashers so I decided to give it a bit of a rest even though I am pretty interested in leveling my Fire Demon and Industrialist. 

I got my prescription lenses for my VR headset. It makes the unit more comfortable. I also see better while wearing it. I watched the movie Looper. I tried out quite a few 3D videos. Exploring Tokyo was really neat. The Trailer for Pete's Dragon in 3D was alright. The 3D video of the rollercoaster had my stomach doing flips and I nearly had to stop pedaling to throw up. Instead, I ripped off the headset and spent the last several minutes of my time breathing evenly and trying to ignore the gurgling sounds that my stomach was making. I admit I left off VR for a day or so. 

In that time I watched a bit of Community and Night Court. I also played Final Fantasy V. I never thought I would see the day that I had become accustomed to grinding through an FF game with keyboard controls. I have not gotten a set up figured out which will allow me to pedal and use a keyboard well. I switched to my Xbox Elite Controller for the time I was riding and it actually distracted my brain better than most things. 

If Final Fantasy VI Pixel Remaster doesn't drop soon, I may end up doing a replay of V even though it is not my favorite. I got very frustrated with Blue Mage and the Learn mechanic super early in this play through. I have read that it is a fun class to master and has a considerable power level. That is a consideration for the future. 

For now, I think the time has come to change my focus a bit. I am going to change my writing requirement. I will continue to update my blog twice a week on Monday and Thursday, but I am not going to obligate myself to an hour of writing a day for a while. I am certain that I will still write more than an hour most days. I have projects that I am fairly invested in. There are also days that carving out that hour is at the cost of doing things which mean more to me. Keeping the blog alive and regularly updated feels manageable. 

Similarly, I am going to take a break from the daily drawing requirement. I have phoned in the effort on so many sketches lately that it feels more discouraging than helpful. I am not uninspired or unwilling to draw. I would much rather read my kid a book. I also tend to make my drawings last in my daily quests before I rest. That means I am likely sweaty, tired, out of breath, and ready to rest rather than put pencil to the page. I am going to take a few weeks, draw when I want to draw, and revisit things when I see how the change in the habits hits me. I do get a lot of calm and focus from both writing and drawing. Removing the requirement may prove to be a bad thing in which case I will change course. 

On the exercise front, I want to figure out how to increase my efforts without hurting myself. My Samsung Health App tracks three separate things: Minutes of Active Time, Steps Taken, and Calories burned. Ideally, I would try to get an hour of exercise, 10,000 steps, and a good calorie burn. The blasted phone cannot figure out I am walking on the treadmill. Also, I HATE the treadmill. 

I have been toying with putting the treadmill back outside in my storage shed. It hurts me. It takes up quite a large footprint in my very limited space. Most of all I don't make good use of it right now. Even when I am out of breath on the exercise bike I am not tempted to stop. When I hit that same wall on the treadmill, I have to fight myself hard to meet my goals. 

In its place I would like to add some weights. I do not want a full weight bench at this point. I want just a couple of weights to work out my arms and shoulders a bit. I don't know how this will impact my weight loss, but I am not just looking to be skinny. I am looking to get healthy and gain healthy muscle. That is an investment for after the first of the year when I recover from Christmas and figure out my financial goals for 2022. 

Since I am setting myself free of more than an hour of stuff to do each day, I am going to reinvest that time. Rather than doing an hour a day of exercise, I am going to aim for an hour and a half. Ideally, I would do this morning, afternoon, and evening. I am also contemplating how I could regularly get out of the house and get those steps I want. I am sure I will figure it out. 

Right now 15 miles a day feels pretty good. I would love for the additional time investment to turn that into 21 miles a day or more. I also want to see what the scale says next week. I might be on a good path of regular and healthy weight loss. Who knows, six months or a year from now, I might even be willing to discuss this cycle of where I started and where I plan to end up.